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What your marriage counselor may not be telling you

| Dec 16, 2019 | Uncategorized |

Like many Arizona couples who are in troubled marriages, you and your spouse may have sought the help of a marriage counselor or couples therapist. These professionals can often offer unbiased words of wisdom and guidance to spouses who may be unable to see the real problems because they are too close to the situation. However, it may not take long for a marriage counselor to discern whether your marriage will survive at all.

Unfortunately, some relationships have already suffered too much damage to benefit from counseling or therapy. While it would be unfair to say that every marriage is doomed if it encounters certain challenges, many counselors can recognize when a couple may be better off releasing each other from a painful situation.

How bad has it gotten?

If you and your spouse do not seem to be making any progress in your counseling sessions, you may want to take a closer look at your situation. You may be exhibiting some of the common behaviors that marriage counselors interpret as red flags in a relationship. These often indicate that the marriage is in serious danger, and it may be past the point of making reparations. Some of those signs include the following:

  • Unhealthy and destructive fighting, such as screaming, insulting and intentionally hurting each other with no desire to learn more constructive methods of disagreeing
  • Blaming each other and refusal to accept any responsibility for the problems you are facing as a couple
  • Infidelity, which is not always a deal breaker by itself, but it can result in a breach of trust that can be difficult to heal, especially if the cheating spouse refuses to give up the affair
  • Body language, including turning your backs toward each other, folding your arms protectively across your chests and refusing to touch each other
  • Refusal to express any thoughts or emotions during therapy or no longer caring about whether the marriage survives
  • An imbalance of power in the relationship, which can cause deep resentment to build between partners
  • A lack of affection, shared interests or humor between you and your spouse, including the inability to summon up happy memories from your early romance

If you or your spouse feels that counseling is hopeless, it may be safe to say that it is a matter of time before you must face divorce. When this time comes, you do not want to be caught in a twist of emotions and unable to make reasonable decisions about your rights and your future. Having as much information about Arizona divorce laws and your options is a wise idea. A compassionate attorney can be a great benefit during this difficult time.